Discussion:
sick death jokes!!!!
(too old to reply)
Pete Fummy
2018-02-04 03:59:30 UTC
Permalink
Marvin Gaye and his father were perusing Marvin's record collection when his father said, "Hey Marv, check out this 45."
That Derek
2018-02-04 07:28:12 UTC
Permalink
Some of the following bromides concern off-topic personages:

Q: What do Charles Lindbergh and Pelle Lindbergh have in common?
A: They're both dead Flyers.

Q: What do cholesterol and Donna Rice have in common?
A: They both stop Harts from running.

Q: What's the difference between Bonnie Lee Bakley (Mrs. Robert Blake) and Danny Aiello?
A: Bonnie Lee Bakley has her head shot OUTSIDE Italian restaurants! [It's a showbiz joke. In NYC, actor Aiello seemingly has signed framed photos (i.e., headshots) in every other pizza joint.]

Q: What was Billy Joel's biggest hit?
A: The one with the telephone pole.

Q: How come there were never many jokes about Rev. Jim Jones and the Jonestown massacre?
A: The punch lines were too long.

Q: What did one shark say to the other when they saw Leon Klinghoffer coming?
A: "Hey, look ... meals on wheels."

Q: How come Helen Keller cannot have kids?
A: Because she's dead!

Q: What's black on the outside and white on the inside?
A: Len Bias's nose.

Q: Why can't Rock Hudson get car insurance?
A: Because he keeps on getting rear-ended.

Q: What do Cheerions, Arm & Hammer, and Woody Allen have in common?
A: They all come in yellow boxes.

Didja hear about Marvin Gaye's new single?\
"I Heard it Through the Carbine."

***************************************
In Heaven, John Lennon was feeling depressed. Bob Marley came along and learned that the former Beatle really missed Yoko and Sean. Wanting to cheer him up, Marley invited Lennon to a big party that night on Steve McQueen's cloud.

Later, as Lennon was readying himself for the party, Marley dropped by and informed him that the party had been called off with the explanation "Bobby Sands got there five minutes early and ate all the food."
***************************************

Q: Why does Helen Keller only uses one hand to pleasure herself?
A: She uses the other hand to moan.

Q: What killed Willie Nelson?
A: He was playing "On the Road Again."

Have you seen Ray Charles's new album?
He hasn't seen it either.

Q: What do you get when you cross Jacques Derrida and Don Corleone?
A: An offer you can't understand.

Didja hear about Roman Polanski's new film?
"Close Encounters with the Third Grade."

Q: What's Benjamin Britten doing nowadays?
A: Decomposing.

Q: Where did Prince Charles spend his honeymoon?
A: In-Diana.

Q: What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
A: One does the moonwalk ... The other one molests small children.

Q: What's the difference between a shopping bag and Michael Jackson?
A: One is made of plastic and is dangerous for small children to play with ... The other one is something you haul groceries in.

Q: What did the dentist say to the Woody Allen film?
A: "Open wide."

Didja hear Abraham Lincoln was Jewish?
Yes, he was shot in the temple.

Q: Why was John-John Kennedy buried at sea?
A: Because Teddy was leading the motorcade.

Didja hear about the new movie about JFK Jr.?
"Three unerals and A Wedding."

Loading...