2020-10-05 16:22:19 UTC
I found it at "Awful Library Books: Hoarding Is Not Collection Development."
Most of it (the relevant part is near the bottom):
"No, I am not hiding the tax forms. They haven’t come in yet.”
“Yes, you must wear shoes, shirt and pants in the library.”
“What do you mean someone found a butcher knife in the toilet?"
"I'm sorry, I can’t call another patron and tell them to ‘hurry up and finish’ their book so you can have your turn.”
“We can get you images of PAINTINGS of Jesus, but there are no PHOTOGRAPHS of Jesus.”
“Sexkitten1994 is not a good choice for an email when you are applying for a job. How about we make another one?”
"I'm sorry, we don’t have a special summer reading program for the gifted.”
“I’m so sorry you misunderstood that Boogie Nights is a movie not appropriate for children. It is our policy not to comment on patron choices.”
“I’m sorry you are sad, but it is not appropriate for us to put a warning label on a book if the main character dies.”
“No, I am sorry, the library staff cannot watch your baby while you run to Walmart.”
“I guess I am the ‘Head Bitch in Charge’. What can I help you with?