Discussion:
Semi-OT: "I'm sorry for your loss, but quit asking for money!"
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Lenona
2020-09-25 13:31:11 UTC
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https://www.post-gazette.com/life/lifestyle/2020/06/28/Miss-Manners-Im-sorry-for-your-loss-but-quit-asking-for-money/stories/202006280017

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am ready to yank my fingernails out with vise grips!

One of my best friends lost his partner several months ago, and keeps bombarding friends and family with tribute requests. I acquiesced initially, but I'm taking a firm stand now and refuse any further participation.

How do I convey my message without losing a friend?

Mind you, his significant other was a tough 22-ton tanker times 10 — a two-fisted hardcore alcoholic. On any given day, he would be in a stupor at best, breaking coffee tables at worst. For us to contribute to a liver foundation because he died of liver disease, I feel, is outrageous!

It's been going on nearly a year now, and my friend is asking if he can count on us for yet another memorial donation. Please give some soothing advice, or else I'll be going in for a medical manicure very soon.

GENTLE READER: "I have limited resources and will be turning my attention to another cause this year. But I will be sure to drink a toast in Thadeus' honor the next time we are all together remembering him."


Lenona.
Kenny McCormack
2020-09-25 13:46:27 UTC
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Post by Lenona
https://www.post-gazette.com/life/lifestyle/2020/06/28/Miss-Manners-Im-sorry-for-your-loss-but-quit-asking-for-money/stories/202006280017
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am ready to yank my fingernails out with vise grips!
One of my best friends lost his partner several months ago, and keeps bombarding
friends and family with tribute requests. I acquiesced initially, but I'm taking
a firm stand now and refuse any further participation.
There's a lot going on in this post, but I won't comment on it.

Anyway, my general feeling about this sort of thing is that if you
participate once, you're basically in for the duration.

I.e., the only sensible thing to do is on the first ask, say "No anglaise".
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Lenona
2020-09-25 15:42:40 UTC
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So you're saying Miss Manners' suggestion isn't really polite enough?

Shock! Horror!
J.D. Baldwin
2020-09-29 19:05:03 UTC
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"[...] But I will be sure to drink a toast in Thadeus' honor [...]"
Nice touch.
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